The Biggest Spider

Michael works at night. Sometimes I have to be brave when it comes to the insects that like to invite themselves into our house.  Don't get me wrong,  I was never the type to be afraid of insects, spiders or invertebrates of any kind.  However, when there is a boy here that doesn't mind killing these bugs, I am just fine to let him do it.
Tonight I was sitting on my couch, minding my own business when I look over and see a very large, red brown, and quite spindly looking spider on my carpet.  After a slight panic attack and frantically rubbing the skin on my legs to make sure another spider hadn't made himself at home also, I decided I had to act fast.  I took a huge leap off the couch, like you used to do when you were a little kid and you had just seen a scary movie and you thought there was something under you bed so you would stand up on the mattress, take a deep breath and then leap as far as you could so that what ever was under your bed couldn't reach out and grab your legs.  You know, that ninja move. Yeah I did that.   Once I reached my supplies I was clear headed enough to come up with a plan.
First off, my feet were exposed and as any spider assassin knows, you can't have your feet vulnerable when doing a job.  So I put on the most hard core, heavy duty shoes I could find. Combat boots.  I walked over the the spider and I smashed like you would not believe.

Of course it did not die the first time, it decided to try the whole immortal thing and run out from under the shoe I was using to kill him.  But after four more tries I was victorious!

In my head this is about the size, shape, color and look of the spider that I triumphed over. In real life it wasn't any bigger than my pinky toe.  Details, just details.  Overall, I am hero!

http://www.mostplanet.com/largest-spider.html