Tonight I was sitting on my couch, minding my own business when I look over and see a very large, red brown, and quite spindly looking spider on my carpet. After a slight panic attack and frantically rubbing the skin on my legs to make sure another spider hadn't made himself at home also, I decided I had to act fast. I took a huge leap off the couch, like you used to do when you were a little kid and you had just seen a scary movie and you thought there was something under you bed so you would stand up on the mattress, take a deep breath and then leap as far as you could so that what ever was under your bed couldn't reach out and grab your legs. You know, that ninja move. Yeah I did that. Once I reached my supplies I was clear headed enough to come up with a plan.
First off, my feet were exposed and as any spider assassin knows, you can't have your feet vulnerable when doing a job. So I put on the most hard core, heavy duty shoes I could find. Combat boots. I walked over the the spider and I smashed like you would not believe.